On the other hand if you would be the next hot young thing on "Desperate Housewives" then why aren't you auditioning? For that matter if I were good at this wouldn't I be writing something besides dopey jokes on a web site?

But be that as it may, I am actually working with a great client that does hold the key to your future success if you qualify...and are interested of course, but I think that would be safe to assume considering you're still reading this sad excuse for a Help Wanted ad.

Our client is looking for an experienced media sales professional with a strong client and agency Rolodex. This individual should have a consultative sales approach and a track record in driving revenue and increasing client base. You must be results-driven and have strong analytical skills.

This person is expected to understand and be able to articulate the overall business objectives of our client's sales organization, and the company's value proposition to the advertising community and achieve aggressive new business and account growth expectations. The successful candidate must have the ability to initiate high-level interactive business conversations with key decision makers in a variety of industries as it relates to Internet marketing and advertising programs including e-Newsletters and Cost Per Click (CPC) programs. The ability to create interest and build value by use of a multi-call process is essential. Must be able to build a strong pipeline, close new business and expand customer relationships that ensure renewal and increase business.

This job requires at very least an Associate degree, but a BA or BS is highly preferred. You'll must have at least 3-5+ years of current professional on line / Internet media sales experience with a proven experience being a top performer. Obviously you'll have strong Internet and MS Office skills.

Our client prefers to use prior earnings in excess of $90,000 as a measuring stick as to whether or not you fit the successful track record they're after.

If you're the ideal candidate (please make sure you have this before telling me in your cover letter that you are "perfect" for the job) will possess a strong client and agency Rolodex as well as prior experience with sales of on line newsletters as well as Cost